Author: Ana

Story Title: Raindrops

Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/_raindrops/

Reviewer: Rachi @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com



Title: 5/5 ~ While I think it could have been a little more creative, it’s definitely good enough for a one-shot and it carries creativity as well as interest.



Poster/Background: 3/5 ~ I didn’t think everything needed to be so dark because it wasn’t necessarily a depressing story; it was more the opposite where the girl realizes that she deserves better. I don’t feel like the graphics encompassed the mood of the story.



Forewords: 9/10 ~ I liked this a lot because I feel like forewords are not supposed to be long. They’re supposed to catch and hold onto your interest and that one sentence was able to do both. Next time, put the copyrights at the bottom so it’s more formal.



Plot: 12/15 ~ I wish you could’ve gone a little more in depth with your plot. Overall, it was well developed and interesting but I think you could have done the storyline more justice and elaborated more on the background of the story; I know this is a one-shot but readers are more likely to enjoy a story when they understand and “feel” the entire thing and not just a random part, you know what I mean? It just feels like we’re supposed to be sympathizing with this girl even though we have no idea what had been happening all those years and what she’s like.



Originality: 17/20 ~ I’m not going to go into the originality part because needless to say, it wasn’t he most creative storyline ever. However, you did make up for it because your storytelling was very unique and made the story more interesting.



Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 14/15 ~ Wow, I’m impressed. I didn’t find many (or barely any) spelling/grammar/punctuation etc. whatever. The only small part that left me confused for a bit was the very end where it was like



“The girl may have had what she thought she wanted, and the girl may have once been her enemy, but now she wanted so much to thank her.”



It wasn’t very clear who the “girl” you were referring to was. Maybe a better wording could have been:



“That girl may have had what she thought she had wanted, that very girl may have once been her enemy as well but now, she just wanted so much to thank her.”



Detail: 4/5 ~ For a one-shot, there was a decent amount of detail in there. However, like I’ve mentioned, I do feel like more background info as well as more elaborate descriptions could have been given; imagery really does do wonders.



Writing Style: 9/10 ~ Overall, I enjoyed your writing style. It was clear and refreshing while giving me a sense of who the characters were at the same time. I only wish that next time, you add more literary devices to your storytelling and widen your choice of vocabulary.



Overall Enjoyment: 9/10 ~ I really did like the way it ended; I just wish that I could have read a bit more. I feel like the story wasn’t very complete because it didn’t have it didn’t have that detail and background that could’ve made it even better.



Bonus: 5/5 ~ Here are the bonus points for the heck of it but hey, I have a question for you. When I received the request, I noticed that your email is duuckkiiee…I remember a winglin writer who went by that name once and I really liked one of her stories. Have you ever, by any chance, written a story about Hebe Tian and Aaron Yan?



Total: 87/100

Labels: Rachi