Author: Midniite

Story Title: I Love My Family

Story URL: http://www.fictionpress.com/s/2734931/1/I_Love_My_Family

Reviewer: Rachi@ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com



Title: 4/5 ~ Fits the story? Yes. Creative? No.



Poster/Background: N/A



Forewords: 9/10 ~ This made me laugh. It didn’t really give a huge glimpse into what the story will be like but it did a good job of introducing all the characters, although maybe there were a little too many? I had issues remembering them all.



Plot: 13/15 ~ Extremely, extremely random :] I think that pretty much describes it. It was definitely hilarious, I liked how you characterized all the people in the family, my faves were David, Aiden and Suki. At some points I had trouble following the storyline because it was just SO random! The story could’ve been better by following a central plot instead of pretty much a completely different plot for each chapter.



Originality: 20/20 ~ I feel like I should give you 100 out of 20. This story was for sure, unlike anything I have ever read. It wasn’t cliché and was just downright funny :]



Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 13/15 ~ Grammer was okay although there was a lot of awkward word order. If you read through it carefully, I think you’ll find some spelling mistakes here and there. Nothing major though. There were some issues with punctuation, like run-on sentences but vocabulary was perfect. The word choice was great and really gave personality to the characters.



Detail: 4/5 ~There weren’t tons of detail, just enough to give the reader a sense of the environment and the characters. You did more “telling” instead of “showing. There was a lot more dialogue used than anything else, this would make a great play :]



Writing Style: 9/10 ~ I liked your writing style mainly because the format was clear, with a lot of humor. You could have italicized some more though, I think that would have made it easier to distinguish between a character’s thoughts and their actual actions.



Overall Enjoyment: 8/10 ~ I really liked how this story made me laugh. I was just sitting here reading it and all of a sudden I’ll burst out laughing and people will look at me. I think the personalities of the characters really shone through and made them all really unique, which also made me happy :] As I’ve mentioned, I had trouble following the story plot so it didn’t make some plots as enjoyable as it could have been.



Bonus: 3/5 Two points for the little messages/intros at the beginning of each chapter, they tend to make readers feel more connected to the author. One point for replying once to comments, work on that a little more.



Total: 83/95*

Labels: Rachi

Author: Paige Fiqah
Story Title: Under the Mistletoe
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/UTM
Reviewer: Eunbyul
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com/

Title: 5/5
The title was very literal and appropriate for this one-shot. Perfect!

Poster/Background: 4/5
I loved the poster most because of the way the pictures are together. Absolutely amazing!
Absolutely loved them. Stunning! Thought the background was a little plain, but it didn’t make the text bend in too much.

Forewords: 9/10
I thought the forewords was great! I liked the form above the summary.

Plot: 12/15
Your plot is a little cliché. I liked it, but it was too predictable.

Originality: 16/20
Not too original. I’ve read this before and they are all similar endings.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 10/15
You had a bunch of grammar mistakes and misused words, but you can easily fix them by proof reading and editing it.

Detail: 3/5
Nothing extravagant about this. I thought this piece could sue a little more work in this department.

Writing Style: 9/10
I defiantly liked your sense of style in this. It was written with some thought as to how you wanted it.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
I really enjoyed it! It had the right timing for suspense and it kept me wanting more until the end.

Bonus: 5/5
Total: 82/100

Labels: Eunbyul

Author: th1rd3ye
Story Title: Fabric Magic
Story URL: http://www..winglin.net/fanfic/ss_onew_FM
Reviewer: Eunbyul
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com/

Title: 4/5
I loved the title used. It was very creative and unique. The story didn’t really revolve around the title too much, but it was mentioned quiet a few times.

Poster/Background: 5/5
Absolutely loved them. Stunning!

Forewords: 8/10
There is too much information and sneak previews in there that I really didn’t want to read the story. You have everything basically out in the open already. And I didn’t see the definition necessary.

Plot: 15/15
I liked your plot a lot. I never read a fanfic about these kind of events. (And the character choice was a plus.)

Originality: 20/20
I thought this was very original.
Not too cliché and the information was very stylish.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 13/15
There were quiet a few spelling errors in the first few chapters. But nothing a little revising can’t handle.

Detail: 3/5
There was a lot of details in this story, but not enough in some parts.. Like, the character’s appearances and settings, maybe a little bit of background information on Onew. Where did he come from? Why did he end up there?

Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is excellent.

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
Sad in some parts, but very enjoyable!

Bonus: 5/5

Total: 91/100

Labels: Eunbyul

Author: th1rd3ye
Story Title: By Your side
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/fts_mh_BYS/
Reviewer: Darkess @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*

Title: 4/5

Perfect for the story, but I don't think it would stick out on the winglin page that much.

Poster/Background: 5/5

Really cute. The colors are calming, and the poster is blended really well.

Forewords: 10/10

Wow. I think your forewords could have been the actual one shot itself ;D It was really good, and it told a whole story in itself.

Plot: 15/15

Even though it was short, there was a lot to your storyline. Everything was very detailed and elaborate, and the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. I like how you started it out where they were together after death, and then back before they both died, and then ended it when they died again. You had many details in this story that really added to the overall effect of it. Great job.

Originality: 13/20

The guardian angel concept... It's everywhere. It's so common now, that every time I see it I sigh and want to click away. But I love how you had Minhwan protect her from a falling pot, and how you had him talk through the windchimes. That was very unique ;D

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 14/15

loud, as the strong breeze blew into the room, through the open windows. (prologue)

loud as the strong breeze blew into the room through the open windows.

the pedestrian (1)

the pedestrians

gave it (1)

give it

playing catching (1)

playing catch

slid away (1)

slide away

You use a lot of unnecessary commas, but ... you're using them for emphasis, right?

like here

Min Hwan had died, trying to deliver me, my stupid dinner.

the commas aren't necessary, but you're just using them for emphasis, correct?

Detail: 5/5

You put tons of detail into this story, such as the windchimes, the small push from Minhwan to get Eun Jae out of harm's way, the way that she died... and all of your details added so much to the overall story.

Writing Style: 10/10

:) Your writing style is easy to read and comprehend, and I love that you placed so many small details into your story. You were able to grow on the characters in a really short amount of time, and it takes an expert writer to do so.

Overall Enjoyment: 7/10

Bleeeh. The guardian angel concept bored me. But I was glad that I read your story. I liked that he used the phrase "silly girl" a lot. I think it's cute when a guy calls a girl silly. But anyways :D I liked it a lot, and This was a really good story.

Bonus: 5/5

*doesn't understand why my rubric has this section* I hate bonuses o.o theres no point. But anyways, 5 points for ... ... just 5 points >.< geez.

Total: 88/100

Labels: Darkess

Author: Susan Lee

Story Title: But No R

Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/suxsan3/

Reviewer: Rachi @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com



Title: 5/5 ~Woah, I feel like I should give you waaaay more than five points because it was SO creative! I didn’t know what it mean at first and I thought the “R” was for rated and I was like….waiit…



Poster/Background: 5/5 ~ I really liked the poster, it was so serene and calm but super cute at the same time. I was wondering where the girl was at first haha but I guess she’s not on there. The background was good too, it blended in pretty well and I didn’t have to highlight to read the font which made me incredibly happy.



Forewords: 9/10 ~ This was pretty creative as well, it made me laugh :] I had issues understanding who was who, mostly because I don’t know Yesung that well from SJ, but that’s just me. The formatting was a bit weird too because I didn’t know when the foreword started and when your little messages began because it was all double spaced. Maybe use a little more “-----“ next time to indicate which part is the foreword and which part is from you?



Plot: 15/15 ~ So I’ve mentioned that I don’t know Yesung that well but after reading your story, I just love him :] I feel like I know him personally now because of how well you characterized him. He really has a great personality, although I wish you could have descriped Yoobin’s character a little more, to do a little more “showing” instead of “telling.” I liked that the mood in this story is very carefree and joyful throughout and the best part was that it was absolutely hilarious in a very cute kind of way :] It wasn’t particularly dramatic && didn’t have me wondering what was going to happen next (except for the But No R part) but it was cute.



Originality: 17/20 ~ You made it your own with humor and creativity in that they became friends at a yogurt shop. Yesung cornering her in the alley seemed cliché at first but then it was like “ahh he’s hilarious.” I feel like although this story made me laugh and I liked it a lot, it wasn’t all that unique.



Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 13/15 ~ The grammer was pretty good, although there were parts where you should’ve just double spaced on to a new paragraph as well as some run-on sentences. Spelling was perfect (I was so confused at the “foreve” part then I was like ahhh I gotcha). Punctuation was okay, though there were some extra periods and hyphens where they didn’t need to be. Vocabulary was mainly plain, non-descriptive words but I liked how they fit the mood just right because the mood is light and you wouldn’t have wanted really heavy, serious words anyways.



Detail: 2/5 ~ Detail wasn’t really there at all. This sort of bothered me because I couldn’t picture anything mentally as I read, except for maybe the looks on the characters’ faces. It was mainly dialogue, sort of like a script for a play where it’s meant to be acted out.



Writing Style: 8/10 ~ I gave this an eight because I liked the very clear dialogue and straightforward descriptions of the characters and their actions. However some parts confused me because I didn’t really know who said what. There definitely could have been more description and elaboration involved.



Overall Enjoyment: 9/10 ~ Despite everything I’ve said, I still really liked this story. It was for sure, a comedy and everything that Yesung did just made me laugh. I liked how I didn’t know him at all first but then right after I read a little more, I felt like I knew him personally. I liked all the little pieces of humor you added in and it really made the story more interesting and readable.



Bonus: 3/5 ~I like authors that include little messages before each chapter because it makes readers feel like they’re reading something from an author with a great personality. I didn’t give you the full points because I wish you did a bit more responding to comments, which is what bonuses are mainly for.



Total: 86/100



Great job :]

Labels: Rachi

Author: ‘Niii
Story Title: Not Enough Love
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/not_enough/
Reviewer: Starr
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com/

Title:5/5
Title was cute, sad, very nice.

Poster/Background:5/5
Blue was the perfect theme color. Poster was really pretty with great effects, and background was subtle and calm.

Forewords: 9/10
The forewards were short & sweet, which is definitely more preferable than a super long one. The guardian angel concept is one that I was instantly lured to, so that’s a strong point. Forewards are hard for me to rate because there are so many ways to present it, such as long ones with little detail, short ones with none, etc. I prefer your type of foreward, but maybe a tiny more detail? :)

Plot: 12/15
I don’t have a ton to say about the plot, because in the forewards, you can already predict how the story will go, which is fine! Just makes the plot more predictable.

Originality: 18/20
The story itself (relationship since little, one gets sick, and passes) wasn’t very original, but the guardian-angel concept was. ;]

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 15/15
Didn’t find any grammar mistakes xD

Detail: 4/5
There’s not a HUGE amount of detail, but what is there is sweet & really well thought out.

Writing Style: 10/10
Writing is perfect. Totally enjoyable, easy to read & understand, perfect.

Overall Enjoyment:10 /10
Loved the story! Sweet but not corny, sad but not too dramtic. Great :)

Bonus: 2/5
I added 1 extra point for visual characteristics, & 1 point for detail & storyline in the oneshot ^^

Total: 90/100

And I’m really sorry for the super long wait . . .=l

Labels: Starr

Author: dEEaNNa
Story Title: Kurosagi Sequel
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/dEEaNNa_05/
Reviewer: LaurenLCD
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

Title: 3/5
This may appeal to those who've seen/read the original, but not to those who haven't.

Poster/Background: 3/5
While it's certainly not bad looking, the background was distracting and I couldn't really focus on the actual writing. Perhaps a solid background next time? The poster was nice, but not incredibly eye catching.

Forewards: 5/10
While it does get points for introducing the characters, I felt some background information or a bit about their personalities could've been given for the main characters, as well as some information about the original story. As one who hadn't heard of the original plot, I did not know what I was getting into, even as I read the prologue. The summary should've been added as well instead of jumping into the story.

Plot: 7/15
I couldn't really get into the plot, since I couldn't pinpoint what was supposed to happen throughout.

Originality: 10/20
I can only give you half because you're building off a story that already exists. Gomenosai?

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 10/15
There were errors that could've been a result of rushed typing.
i.e. missing apostrophes in words such as "I'm" etc.
some words are written in the past or present tense when they should be the opposite.
some sentences begin lower case.
I noticed that you added an author's note:
"=Gomen ne Juliet song instrumental being played at the background softly=

~Tsurara's letter : Tsurara's voice~"

This distracts the reader from the story. Next time might I suggest omitting ______'s voice as the reader already know's who wrote the letter? You should also omitt writing or inserting music while in the midst of a chapter. If you want to add music to the story, give the reader a link (youtube, etc.) before the chapter starts in your author's note.

Detail: 1/5
I'm sorry, but I'm a bit biased on this one. I had no idea who any of the characters were, and so I couldn't put name to face or expression, or voice. I had a sense of not knowing my surroundings except the general location, such as a train station, etc. and no emotional atmosphere was built according to the time and/or place. I couldn't really feel anything for the characters because I couldn't really get into their heads, despite this being written in first person POV.

Writing Style: 7/10
I'd just suggest that you don't switch point of view too much between characters. It's jarring to go from reading one POV for about 2 sentences, only to be thrust into another character's head the next few sentences. Even though you do indicate when a POV is changing, I felt that you did this too much within chapters.

Overall Enjoyment: 5/10
I couldn't enjoy it, not because you're a bad writer, but because I didn't know the original story.

Bonus: 5/5
Sorry for taking so long to review and coming off too harsh (I hope I didn't!). I'm a writer as well, and I want to see improvement in others as well as myself. Please don't let this discourage you! This is also my first review so I hope I did okay? hehehe... Again, I didn't know the story. And even if I did, I would score objectively. Meaning: Even if I knew the characters, and the original work this story was based off of, I would not let my being a fan blind my perception of whether or not the story was well written.

Total: 56/100
I'm sorry for scoring so low! Please don't think I'm being mean or trying to flame or troll. Perhaps I would've scored higher if I knew the story better. Not to mention the fact that I'm a tough love critic. I'm even tougher on myself! But especially when it comes to the improvement of others. Like I said earlier, don't let this discourage you!

Labels: LaurenLCD

Author: Naire Perplexity

Story Title: LOVE EQUILIBRIUM

Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/9naire10_4

Reviewer: S.D.

*This is purely a review for the story "LOVE EQUILIBRIUM" by Naire Perplexity. The reviewer does not have anything against the author. Any 'harsh' comment made by the reviewer is for the sake of the review (If ever there is one). *

Title: 4/5

- Love Equilibrium is an eye-catching title. At first, the equilibrium of love between the two protagonists is not balanced so I wondered why you used this title but as the story progressed, I finally understand why you used such a 'fancy' word in your title. Though I'm glad you used it for your title. J

Poster/Background: 3.9/5

- The poster is gorgeous. The pictures showed the most important setting in the story (I think since they met in a wedding anyway). The only flaw that I saw is Ella's picture. It's a low quality compared to the other two pictures. The colors perfectly blend with each other yet it somehow looked dull. No offense but I was kind of hesitant to read the story because of the dullness of the background. There were also too many quotations on your poster. But really, I was glad that I read your story. I could not imagine missing such a great story like yours. J

Forewords: 8 /10

- I believe that a good foreword should have a bit of the plot in it, and you did a great job. You made me want to read the story more. Yet, you could have introduced your characters more briefly, like highlighting their special trait or quality. But on the whole, I find your forewords pretty captivating.

Plot: 12/15

- Your plot is good but it is a bit cliche. Most of the time, I know what was going to happen next. The sequencing of the story was too fast. Conflicts were evidently shown as the story goes on. Your plot is pretty good, just minimize cliches if ever you are going to write a new story.

Originality: 12/20

- I hope you will understand why I gave you such points here. The themes 'falling in love with your best friend'' and 'unrequited love' are typical themes in stories. You could have made your story more unique (especially that you are a notable writer anyway). But then I did not really mind that your theme was a common one since you made your story completely remarkable. J

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 12/15

-I felt like I was reading a novel ' not just a novel, but an award-winning one. I do not have that much problem in terms of your grammar. There were just some typos and confusions in your story. There were few missing quotations marks too. But I am really glad that you know how to use a semi-colon. A lot of writer use it without even knowing the proper usage. Also, if you are going to use British English spelling, use it all throughout your story. J

Detail: 5/5

-I think you did a great job on leaving details. I don't really have much to say here. J

Writing Style: 9/10

-I love your writing style. You wrote neatly and it was very detailed. Your vocabulary was also extensive to the point that you put too much highfalutin words in it. I have no problem or whatsoever in understanding your story, but I think you are trying to make your story a 'perfect' and fancy one by using highfalutin words. It's not really a problem since a lot of writers, even I, are used to do that - just don't do it often since it's a bad habit. :D

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

- I really enjoyed reading your story. The only problem I found in your story is that it was cliche. But really, your story was a great one! I'm glad that you chose me to review it. I am a CE fan too! :D

Sub Total: 74.9/100

Bonus: 5/5

- I'm giving you 5 bonus points for waiting for my review. I'm sorry if I was not able to do it earlier. Things just coiled up together in my life. =)) Hahah! *You don't really need to know that xD Anyway, I hope that your story will be a success. I also hope that you'll request more CE fanfic review to me. :D

Total: 79.5/100

Labels: S.D.

Author: Rika<3
Story Title: My five oujisama ★
Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/rika/
Reviewer: th1rd3ye
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com/

Title: 3.5/5

Title is of appropriate length but rather hard to remember. The star beside will help to attract attention. However, I would say this title is not impressive as though you have used the word “oujisama”, it is rather similar to other typical titles like, my five sisters and as such.



Poster/Background: 4.5/5

I loved the poster. The background was of a different image from the poster, but it went well with the poster. This is brilliant as nowadays, the backgrounds are plain or actually a reduced version of the posters. The mood and atmosphere of the story was attained. The colour and pictures chosen for the poster were perfect. The font colour was not as suitable though since the red is too striking and bright. Perhaps, you can change it into a lighter shade of red. To be honest, I think your poster was really adorable and would help pique interest in readers to read more. Bravo!



Foreword: 8.5/10

The foreword included almost everything I would ask for. You have sufficient details about the characters and also a prologue which is rather interesting but predictable as well. The part about the mysterious organization is predictable since we know it would be DBSK. Anyway, the only regret is no sneak preview of the story which will further allure readers into continuing reading. You should have included the meaning of “oujisama” too since there may be readers who do not understand the meaning. Nonetheless, I am pleased with you work here! =]


Plot: 11.5/15

Vampires, werewolves and hunters, plus a love story, are typical plots. However, the idea of the club is your own little twist. The interactions between the characters are lively and interesting.


Originality: 13.5/20

As I have said, you do have your own creative ideas and twists, but your overall plot is quite common.


Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 5.5/15

You used simple vocabulary, to make your story more interesting and captivating, you need to improve your command of the English Language. There are many errors here and there, I just picked up some as examples. You need to find synonyms, adjectives and even adverbs. In addition, you should proofread a few more times.



[1] The identities of the members are kept sealed. so no one in the school about them and even what things they do , not one of the school know... – Capitalize your “so” since it is after a full-stop, so it should be “So”. Also, I think that “not one of the school” sounds a little incoherent, so maybe, you could change it to “No one in the school knows…” [Foreword]

[2] It about a girl who entered the academy, - It should be “It’s about a girl who had entered the academy.” [Foreword]

[3] It's just that not many know about it, as these kind of species knows how to hid themselves from humans' naked eyes. – Alright. There are many mistakes in this sentence. It should be “It’s just …, as these kinds of species know how to hide themselves from humans’ naked eyes”. Take note of your tenses and also the plural forms of words. [Chapter 1]

[4] To be exact, the human being just don't noticed them as they don't believe to the creatures called Demons. – “… human beings just don’t notice them as they don’t believe in the existence of creatures called Demons.” One does not believe in something. [Chapter 1]

[5] They just too many. – “There are just too many”.[Chapter 1]

[6] This is ain't right. Why there's too many pathetic mindless vampires tonight? – “This ain’t right. Why are there so many pathetic mindless vampires tonight?” [Chapter 1]

[7] But then, you kept on planting that little hope ; hoping that someone/ somebody could help her right now!! – The “her” should be replaced with “you”. [Chapter 1]

[8] 'if you want the guns back, Meet me to place where we first meet' – “If you want the guns back, meet me at the place where we first met.” [Chapter 10]


Detail: 3/5

You have tried putting in many details but actually do not have the skills to portray them out clearly.


Writing Style: 5.5/10

Your writing style is rather confusing for me. If it is a point of view from a third person, then please do state so instead of no one’s POV. It sounded weird. Also, your paragraphing and dialogues are confusing too since you have a lot of dialogues and characters but you do not specify who speaks what. So I hope you can improve on this aspect, clarify and make things as clear as possible.


Overall Enjoyment: 6/10

It is humourous, exciting and crowded with the many amiable and charming characters. However, I do get bewildered as well and get lost since the pace of the story is not consistent too. Things happen too fast to the “you”.


Bonus: 3/5

I am a fan of DBSK! =] I love them! However, as I have said earlier, your mistakes and writing style, do baffle me.


Total: 64.5/100

Labels: th1rd3ye

Author: Susan Lee

Story Title: Reset

Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/suxsan2/

Reviewer: Miki

Title 4/5

The title “Reset” doesn’t make you want to read the story the first time you see it, it’s not that original. But if you’ve read “Let’s not” and then see that it’s the sequel you’ll definitely click the link. The title makes you think about what the story’s going to focus on, resetting their relationship or something else?

Poster/Background 5/5

I really liked the poster and the background, it’s a calming colour and it kind of makes me relax. The pictures and the song-lyrics in it are just perfect and fits this story really good. This may be one of the best posters I’ve experienced. (A mistake in the quotes, though; Prest the reset)

Forewords 9/10

The forewords made me think about the different possibilities, and it made me want to read the story even more. The best thing about your forewords is that you mix both quotes from the actual story and questions for the readers, and you also writes a bit about the characters. The sneak peeks = bonus!! Good job.

Creativity/Originality 12/15

Of course, it’s hard to come up with something that’s original and really makes the readers think beyond their usual way. This story kind of reminds of others I’ve read in the past, but you’ve still managed to make this story yours by putting in little hints of your own personality and humour. That makes this a lot easier to read than the usual stuff.

Plot 16/20

As I’ve said before, with the originality, it’s hard to come up with a plot and still make it yours. When I read this it could at times seem a bit boring and dull, but at some points there are some drama happening, just be sure to make that possibly even clearer, a bit more emotions maybe?

Grammar/Vocab/Spelling/Punctuation 12/15

You have some minor spelling and grammar errors, like past and present tense(watch out). Also remember when you’re using ’ (their - they’re/they are, your - you‘re/you are etc.). But all in all, your vocabulary seems to be in good shape and punctuation seems alright.

Writing Style 9/10

Your writing style is really good and easy to read, if you try to catch up with the minor spelling and grammar mistakes, you can be a really good writer.

Overall Enjoyment 15/20

Sometimes a bit confusing, but I manage to catch up. I have to say that I didn’t have this huge urge to continue reading this story, it just didn’t appeal to me like that. At some parts this can be a bit confusing and maybe a bit boring, but if you work a little on those points, I’ve got faith in you for doing great further on. All in all; thank you for not making my ‘job’ too hard :’)

Total: 82/100

Labels: Miki

It was you
Author: Ronix^^
Story Title: It was you
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Asian_Fanatic03/
Reviewer: Liz

Title: 3/5
I didn’t find your fanfic title to me interesting or witty, just a little to bland. If I were looking down the list of fanfics, yours would not have caught my eye. Though it does match and fit right in with your story line..

Poster/Background: 5/5
Absolutely adored your graphics! The poster and background really drew me into the story more then the title did.

Forewords: 6/10
Your forewords was not all that. Meaning the sentences were not completed, marking it a little tricky to fathom.

Plot: 13/15
Your plot is a little too cliché for me. Don’t get me wrong, the plot is enjoyable but I’ve read it a few times before. I think I even watched a few movies or dramas about the same kind of situation. Though it did have your own style and emotions in it.

Originality: 10/20
I found it original to a point, then the rest is all “been there, done that” kind of feeling. A sense of repetition.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 12/15
The only major issue I had in this category was the vocabulary. It was too elementary for me.

Detail: 2/5
Not enough details! I want to know what the scenery is and the kind of atmosphere is around them.
For instance, in the forewords at the hospital room, you could’ve made it a lot more interesting. The first two lines you went just starting to use some description words. Here’s an example you can survey:
I slowly opened my eyes to find myself in a sterile white room. I let my eyes wander around before stopping at two distinguished figures at the side of my stiff, rough textured bed.
Wasn’t that a tad more appealing then the small section you have?

Writing Style: 7/10
Your writing could’ve been more pronounced if you written in a more set formation.

Overall enjoyment: 8/10
Your story wasn’t as tedious to read compared to other attempts. To say the least, it was quite enjoyable.

Bonus: 3/5

Total: 69/100

Labels: Eunbyul

Fragments
Author: Maria
Story title: Fragments
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/fragments/
Reviewer: Liz

Title: 5/5
I thought your chosen title was very well fitting to your story.

Poster/Background: 4/5
Oh my, oh my, oh my! I love your poster! It is absolutely gorgeous! I love the colors in it and the strip in the middle just adds to the beauty.
The picture in the background is hardly visible, but the black background and yellow/gold font contrasted very well.

Forewords: 9/10
I admit, the forewords was a bit hard for me to read. It triggered a lot of memories and thoughts, which I find to be a good thing because then I can relate to the story better.
I thought it was very well planned out and written.
I also liked how you add in an acknowledgment (as just a side note).

Plot: 15/15
I though your plot was very well planned out. The rise to the climax was intense but when you finally reached it, BAM! Unexpected events happen. Very interesting.

Originality: 20/20
I can actually say that I thought this story was truly original! Kudos ^^
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 14/15
You have very few grammar mistakes and your spelling is great. But of course they can be improved with some proof reading.

Detail: 5/5
The details in this fic was impressive. You really know how to make people want more.
Writing Style: 10/10
I have to say, your writing is quite formal next to the numerous amount of other stories I have read. Very unique as well.

Overall Enjoyment: 8/10
It was a nice hour read, but I wanted more. More action than thoughts and dialogue.

Bonus: 3/5
Not my cup of tea in character selection but worth the read.

Total: 93/100

Labels: Eunbyul

Author: D14
Story Title: My Dream
Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/d14_1shot/
Reviewer: th1rd3ye
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

Title: 2/5

Your title is a simple and short title which is not impressive and lacks creativity. Such titles are pretty common and thus not many readers will be interested to click on it and read it.


Poster/Background: 3.5/5

I would say that at least your font colour goes with the background. The background is not plain as well. The poster is rather adorable but a little plain. One good point is that the appearance of the story fits the story and creates the appropriate mood to it.


Foreword: 7.5/10

Your foreword was rather short but it included sufficient details about Yun Ho. Also, it had the brief summary about what the story was about. However, it was not impressive and alluring. This is due to firstly, the length of the foreword, and secondly, there is no characterisation about the “you” in the story, and lastly, no sneak previews or snippets of the story.


Plot: 9/15

This plot is a typical plot of dreaming of a love story with an idol. However, there is a much more dramatic ending to it this time round, which is a little different from the others.


Originality: 12/20

As mentioned above, it was a rather common plot, except the dramatic ending.


Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 7/15

Errors are very frequent, especially the grammar. Punctuation is a little confusing. Vocabulary is very simple and not remarkable. Note my suggestions under the ‘Writing Style’ section. You can surely do better. Do strive on.

Examples of errors include (All are from Chapter 1):

[1] What had just friggin’ happened?! – Try not to use colloquial language. A more appropriate word would be “freaking”.

[2] Wait, wasn’t I supposed to be in front of Yunho, confessing my feeling for him?? – One question mark would be more appropriate even though I know you are trying to emphasise on your bewilderment.

[3] I thought I was hearing him said that he love me too. – Incoherent sentence, a better sentence would be “I thought I was listening to his declaration of love for me.”

[4] I called her once again. Where’s she anyways? – Note the sudden changes in tenses. From “I called her” to “Where’s she”, it jumped abruptly from past tense to present tense. This mistake should be avoided. It should have been “Where was she anyway?”. Spelling error is present too, since there is no ‘s’ for ‘anyway’.


Detail: 3.5/5

Sufficient details but the descriptions of the details were not elaborated enough.


Writing Style: 6.5/10

Rather neat and understandable, I would say. However, your writing style is too simple and requires improvement. Your sentences sound incoherent. I think maybe it is because English is not your first language, but still, I would suggest for you to find out some synonyms, adjectives, adverbs and descriptions. It is quite reader-friendly too since the point of view is from the reader. Also, your paragraphing should be improved. Actually, each dialogue by a new speaker should be a new paragraph on its own. For example, the questions hurled at Yun Ho and the “you” should have been on their individual paragraphs instead of one whole chunk.


Overall Enjoyment: 6/10


Bonus: 5/5

I LOVE DBSK! =] The characters in this one-shot are very lively and adorable. You can do better so do work harder!


Total: 62/100

Labels: th1rd3ye

Author: BoBoLi0us
Story Title: The Last Time
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/Reminiscence02/
Reviewer: Yunni


Title: 5/5
Title was short, to the point, and summarizes the whole plot of the story. GG.

Poster/Background: 4/5
Great blending, first of all. I liked how you put train tracks and the girl's back facing the reader, making it seem as if she's walking away. Very intriguing and eye catching. A mark was deducted because Junho's picture somehow doesn't seem to fit in.

Forewords: 9/10
Your forewords were, first of all, organized. You had all the copyrights at the top, the hook in the middle, cast, then your personal author notes. Detailed and professional. Also, your teaser was VERY intriguing. I smiled when I read the word 'bunny' ^^ Bunnies make me happy. Teehee. -blink- Err...I docked a mark because of the sudden jolt out of the story when you wrote 'rabbit' instead of bunny, so one little suggestion- keep it to one thing. Yes, they are synonyms, but it just sounds better when you stick to one name for the bunny. If it's Giant Bunny, then don't call it Giant Rabbit unless you're using rabbit as a noun and not a name.
I also thought that it was interesting how you can link bunnies up to Junho. Hehe.

Plot: 12/15
Interesting, interesting plot. It's not a first-timer that a girl has left a guy because of temper tantrums, but you write it as if it has never happened before. I really like how you just made her fly halfway around the world to get away from him. xD but the main reason why I liked it was because she still went back, even though she didn't want to (and you know how expensive tickets are - -').
Ignore me if I sound weird.

Originality: 17/20
This one I've gotta hand it to you. The bunny story was completely original, and completely you. I was wondering at first what BUNNIES had to do with Junho (they're too cute for him. Sorry. Love you, but sorry. xD), but as the story moved on, I really admired the way you tied up that 'analogy' with what was happening to him.
Also, flying to America. That is just so completely you, and I liked it because it shows just how much she went back...AND LEFT HIM. NYAHAH.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 11/15
There weren't very many grammar mistakes I saw while I was reading, but there were some capitalization and apostrophe mistakes. They're probably typos, but they're important because they have the power to jerk readers out of the story and back to the text.
-
Theres no time
-
Giant rabbit
You should remember to capitalize the R in rabbit every time, no matter Giant or Mini Rabbit, because that's their names, yeah?
-
No words right would come out.
I have something against this sentence, and that's awkwardness. You should rephrase it, like...
"The right words wouldn't come out."
Or something like that. Your wording right now just sounds really weird and awkward, and that's happened a couple of times in your fic. Not much, because your style permits this to an extent, but there are still some inside.

Detail: 5/5
Very vivid, and good descriptions of the characters' actions. Well done.

Writing Style: 9/10
Like I've said before on almost all of your fics that I've previously reviewed, I enjoy your writing style very much, because it conveys the mood that your story is set in. Brilliant.
However, remember the pointer I mentioned about awkward phrasing. Your style allows the wording to be different, but it's only to a certain point before it really becomes weird-sounding.

Overall Enjoyment: 10/10

Bonus: 3/5

-The poster. Like I said. The train tracks.
-For making it short and sweetly angst.
-The bunnies.

Total: 85/100

Labels: Yunni

Author: raindrop_symphony
Story Title: 365 Days
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/365dayslovenote/
Reviewer: Darkess

*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*

Title: 5/5

The title 365 Days fits, but it's super bland. I'm glad you put in the alternative title of Love Notes which is both cute and catchy.

Poster/Background: 3/5

Totally fits the story, and they're both super cute ^^ The only thing, is that right where the second line starts there is something there in the background that makes the beginning couple of words hard to read. A different font could change that a little or even a bit smaller or bigger background.

Forewards: 8/10

Wow. That really drew me in actually. It was short and simple, and It was a definate hook. I would just add maybe one or two interesting quotes from the story ahead to get your readers wanting to know what's happening.

Plot: 13/15

I thought in the beginning , when the guy said that she was like his cousin's friend or something like that, that it was actually the guy she had a crush on. LOL "Chi - Chi? Goku's wife?" I love dragonball Z! XDDD that line totally just made my day :P I thought that you added a lot into this story. Every time one of them left for a few days, I wondered what had happened to them. The plot was intriguing to say the least.

Originality: 20/20

This is the Coolest most unique story I have ever read. How did you ever come up with this? A note for each day. Like they were writing their own love story. This whole story was really amazing. The way that they communicated was creative, and I love how they willingly wrote to each other for almost a year without technically "meeting". They both kept interest in reading the responses of the other. I'm so glad that I was able to read a story like this ^^

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 13/15

You still hadn’t gotten over it huh? (Day 6)

You still haven't gotten over it huh?

My getting over my problem is none of your problem (Day 7)

My getting over my problem isn't your problem , or , My getting over my problem is none of your business

get you’re message (Day 13)

get your message

You’re crush came (Day 18)

Your

But you’re handwriting is gibberish. (Day 34)

But your handwriting is gibberish.

Ok. You’re handwriting is not gibberish. (Day 36)

Ok, your handwriting is not gibberish.

You’re cousin’s right. (Day 72)

Your cousin is right.

you’re wishful thoughts (Day 74)

your wishful thoughts

If you’re cousin’s here (Day 78)

If your cousin's here

It’s not like their married right? (Day 97)

It's not like they're married, right?

just got to know makes gives you more freedom. (Day 101)

just got to know gives you more freedom.

doing perfectly good in my profession.(day 103)

doing perfectly fine in my profession.

you break up with your girlfriend. (Day 114)

you broke up with your girlfriend.

hope it would work. (Day 115)

hope it will work.

with that sort of things. (day 131)

with that sort of thing.

come here at the library more (Day 132)

come here to the library more

have been telling that she was some social climber. ( day 140)

have been saying that she was some social climber.

a greater place live if (Day 151)

a greater place to live if

mend you’re broken heart. (day 162)

mend your broken heart.

You’re cousin’s name is Yoochun? (Day 222)

Your cousin's name is Yoochun?

you’re cousin Yoochun (Day 269)

your cousin Yoochun

have finished you’re story by then (Day 361)

have finished your story by then

although he still borrow (1 year later)

although he still borrowed

There are not much people (1 year later)

There are not many people

It just means were meant to be.” (1 year later)

It just means we're meant to be."

the light out of Junsu (1 year later)

the lights out of Junsu

Detail: 2/5

There wasn't any detail in this story until the last super long chapter ^^ You described the archives and their little spot well, as well as why Chi-Chi liked that spot. I don't really think that you should add any more detail to this story though. I like it the way it is.

Writing Style: 10/10

I LOVE this style. It's the first time I've ever seen it, and it totally just because my favorite ^^. This whole story was so good. and in the middle of serious thoughts you would put something to make me laugh. A Day in the 80s , Chi- Chi disappeared, and he was like "I'm gonna kick whoever took your notes" something like that. Was so funny! and in the middle of worrying where she went :P The little snippets seemed realistic. I could see someone writing these notes every day.

Overall Enjoyment: 15/10

That's no typo. I can't give it a ten because I liked it much much more than that S2. This story is absolutely amazing. I love the concept, and this story made me really want to try this out and see if it would work.

Bonus: 5/5

Would you mind if I put this story in my blog's hall of fame? You'd only be the second story there ^^ I think you deserve it. http://darkessluvssquirrels.blogspot.com

Total: 94/100

That's a really high score for me to give out. *bows* you should be proud ^^

Labels: Darkess