Friday, July 1, 2011, 12:32 PM
Author: KEITO
Story Title: end of love salvation
Story URL: http://winglin.net/fanfic/maki/
Reviewer: morning_glory @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com
Title: 1/5 This title doesn’t really make any sense… what do you mean by ‘end of love salvation’?
Poster/Background: 4/5 Your poster and background really fit with your story, the darkness really emphasizes the theme of the story.
Forewords: 8/10 Your foreword was really attention-grabbing, it made me want to read your story. Also, it didn’t give away too much of the plot, which was good, as that would have made it a bad teaser. However, I would have liked it if you introduced your characters in the forewords too.
Plot: 12/15 Your plot was quite interesting; since it was a one-shot, the plot went along very well, no weird tempos. It was also an interesting plot, it can keep your readers reading your story.
Originality: 16/20 This story is pretty good, the original part would probably be the very end, as I have never heard of someone keeping dead lovers in their house… that was pretty original J
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 10/15 As you said, your grammar could use some improvement. Your forewords and your one-shot had some grammar errors. You can just go over it a couple more times, or you can always ask someone to proofread it for you.
Detail: 3/5 I didn’t really get much detail about the girl; all I understood was that she really hates being left for someone else. More detail about her would be good. But, seeing as this is a one-shot, the detail you do have is good; just add some more next time.
Writing Style: 7/10 Your writing style is good, you alternate between dialogue and description. You could use a bit more dialogue in future projects, though.
Overall Enjoyment: 7/10 This story was quite morbid, but it was a pretty interesting story. Good job!
Bonus: 3/5 Sorry for the long wait! Thank you for requesting from Shredded Hearts!
Total: 71/100
Labels: morning_glory