Author: xiaoreine
Story Title: Daisy
Story URL: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/54380/
Reviewer: Nanashi @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

*Dear Author, I apologize if my review is too rude-sounding or harsh or may sound unfair, but please know that I only did this to help you.


Title: 3/5
I've actually seen this title a few times: about a girl, a pet, an object, a flower, a song, etc. So it doesn't seem very original and/or eye catching. Although if someone noticed and thought it was a name, they'd wonder why it was in English. Your title does fit the plot, however, and that was good. It also wasn't long and smart sounding.

Poster/Background: 3/5
The poster I like, it's very simple and neat. I can tell either you or a friend made it. It's not terrible, but it's obviously not all fancy like in the shops. Which is something I don't always see: Good and clean posters that look hand-made rather than put and polished posters. I like it a lot.
However, the people's images look a little too bright, as in it's sort of hard to see them and their faces. Also their pictures look different in setting; Nichkhun's picture looks like someone painted it and non-HD, and the girl's looks clean. I'm not the kind to always nag on HD pictures, but I can see why if you have a blurry picture, make sure both or all are blurry because the poster will look uneven and it'll tilt my interest.

Forewards: 5/10
It is very clean, and you added a teaser/prologue. But it still doesn't give information, what it's rated, how old the characters are, what the pairing is, etc. Usually I will see:
Title:
Length:
Genre:
Pairings:
Rating:
...
But in this I don't see it. I know you have Nichkhun have a bit of what she is like, but that's coming from his view only.

Plot: 13/15
I'd say the plot was very great, it seemed very unique. Of course characters like that are now seen/read here and there, but at least you didn't have her get a make over, be a good singer, become nicer, or be in love with Nichkhun in the end. The ending was very well done, maybe a little abrupt and it can make the reader go, "WTF?!" For me I just looked and I nodded. Of course, that's only cause I understand, in my say it was a good response other than cursing. I'd say it's not entirely bad, and plus it was good in first person.

Originality: 17/20
Your female character and male character would have been unique to me, if I didn't already see a pairing like this. Don't worry, it's a real book about a some-what popular, friendly yet odd in the head kind of guy, who is in love with some very weird, very not-great-looking and speak-her-mind type of girl. When I read the forewords I thought of that book, so for a good thing I understood why the character would act or react to certain things.
Their relationship is at one a sort of hate and a one sided love, which you see every now and then. But at least you didn't make it very love-hate, and then they fall in love. Which would have killed my interest.
The ending isn't very "Oh my god I've never seen this", but it was still very original.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 15/15
You have very good vocabulary in the English language and everything seems to be intact.

Detail: 5/5
The detail wasn't a lot, and it was great. Because this is a oneshot, I'd say you did perfect. You had just the amount in description next to dialogue and it made the story more balanced and fast to get through. Not fast as in it was too fast, but for one shots like these they tend to get long and boring. Although in Nichkhun's head it was very amusing and he was very straight to the point.

Writing Style: 9/10
Your writing style is very clean, very well written, almost perfect. Although it seems like the detail was just done slightly less than how much you put for dialogue. As in, I feel you put more heart in your dialogue than your details. But when I keep reading over, it still looks very well. And on the plus side you don't overdue it with such things like exclamation marks, which I don't mind, but it's refreshing to see this.

Overall Enjoyment: 10/10
I don't really read het stories, but this was very wonderful. I liked how Nichkhun and the girl would sometimes/somewhat bicker, but Nichkhun still cares about her.

Bonus: 5/5
The poster was clean and simple, as I've said. And although this shouldn't count, I understood the characters very well because of the book I read, even if others might not get it or understand the characters or one in particular.

*AN/: In my opinion, you're a very good writer. Not the kind where you have me laugh out loud, or make me cry or go "AWW!" But your writing is still very good. My suggestion, keep writing and ask for reviews so you can become better at it. What I liked is that your girl character had spunk and all. Also, your story had me interested and there was no need for a sex scene. In my opinion, stories should be good without sex scenes.

Total: 86/100

Labels: Nanashi