Author: Gril4Life
Story Title: My Private Tutor
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/PrivateTutor/
Reviewer: dramafreak4eva @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

Title: 3/5

The title relates to the story but merely is too simple. A title needs to be eye catching so when you’re going through a whole list of titles, you can tell if that story will be interesting or not. But other than that, everything’s good.


Poster/Background: 3/5

The poster suited the mood, nothing is wrong with it but the background was a tad annoying since the background colour is pink and the font colour is white, it didn’t match well. I had to highlight the text at times to able to read it. A solution is to change the font colour to an appropriate colour.


Forewords: 8/10

First of all, I’m glad you had a preview and plot summary but adding a character description of the main characters would be good. Also, it’s not good to just list all of the characters. Just list down the main ones and maybe have a separate paragraph for the minor characters. Introducing the characters with just a few sentences is better than just listing them.


Plot: 12/15

It’s a bit cliché, Guigui being the most popular girl in the school, having a boyfriend that she doesn’t love but only uses him for appearance. Then she has to fly over to England and going to a boarding school which there she meets Arron who is her private tutor. Then the rest comes. Make it a twist, change the plot around and do some tweaking because that is what I call an overused plot.



Originality: 18/20

I wouldn’t say it’s all that original like I said above but you made a few things interesting to read like the call to Rainie’s mother in the first chapter and a few other things. As for creativity, sadly, in my opinion, it’s not creative as much as it should be and I’m pretty sure you can do better than that.


Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 12/15

Your grammar was good but I did find some mistakes in your story since it is a chaptered fanfic. There were parts that I didn’t understand well because you left out a word or two which made the sentence just.. not understandable. Not only that, you had misused some words. A quick example is: “I cleared her throat. He stopped playing.” This is incorrect. “I cleared my throat. He stopped playing.” This is the corrected. You need to read over your story.


Detail: 4/5

You had a great amount of information and details on the things you were writing about which is good. I could imagine you story in my head which means you did well on writing the details.



Writing Style: 8/10

I understood your writing and so I didn’t mind even though it’s not my favourite style. At times, I got confused which made you lose some points. A suggestion is to add spacing within each sentence so it makes it easy and clearer when viewing your story. The story was mostly on Guigui’s point of view therefore I deducted marks. A tip is to write about a few point of views, not just one.


Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

I’m a fan of GuiLun, a huge one to be specific.


Bonus: 3/5


Total: 80/100

I’m a strict reviewer so don’t be saddened about the overall total. Jia you!

Labels: dramafreak4eva