Author: th1rd3ye
Story Title: Fate's Call
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/sss_mh_FC/
Reviewer: Darkess @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*

Title: 5/5

I love this title, especially when you put it with your specific definitions. It fit perfectly, and I thought that it would attract many eyes on the winglin page.

Poster/Background: 5/5

Very pretty and nice to look at :D

Forewords: 10/10

I love this style! Everything is so neat and organized. You know what you're looking at. Also, your provided sneak previews don't give away anything in the story, but there is still enough there to reel in the reader.

Plot: 14/15

I thought that the plot was fantastic. I loved her occupation and how she met him, I felt a sting of pain when the tale of how her boyfriend broke up with her was told, and I loved the sister. But I thought that the plot was just a tad bit unrealistic, which made me sad. Sure it was fate that she called him and that they found each other again, but the fact that he recognied her voice threw me off. But overall, completely fantastic.

Originality: 20/20

I've never before seen a plot like this. I've seen a few 'fate' plots, but never one where she dials a random number and then meets him through his sister at her color therapy place. This story was really imaginative and creative. I didn't even know that color and crystal therapy existed before this.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 13/15

You had near perfect grammar throughout the story, and I didn't see any mistakes. But you could work on concise writing. Such as this

These events spooked me out and I made a mental note to remind myself to visit a temple to pray for better luck. (2)

This can be said in much fewer words. Lines like this come up occasionally in your story, and it's easier to read and a little less awkward if these are cut down like

The events spooked me so I made a mental note to visit a temple and pray for luck.

stranger who bother (2)

stranger who bothered

Detail: 4/5

You put in a lot of detail about the colors and the crystals, but you lacked detail in the setting. Now I know that there isn't much that you can put in in a five chapter story, but it was very hard to imagine the setting as you must have seen it.

Writing Style: 9/10

I like how you write. Your stories are easy to follow and understand, and you always add awesome facts and details. I do wish that the writing would have been a bit more concise, but besides that, keep it up! :)

Overall Enjoyment: 10/10

LOVE this story :D

Bonus: 5/5


Total: 95/100

Labels: Darkess