Author: HenryLau_fan88
Story Title: My Dream Girl
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/MyDreamGirl/
Reviewer: Eunbyul
Site: http://shreddedhearts.blogspot.com/

Title: 4/5
Your title was okay. Nothing special about it. Though, it does match your storyline. But consider more outgoing and witty titles for future fics to attract more attention from readers.

Poster/Background: 3/5
The color of your background is too bright, but I could easily read the font. Consider requesting a poster and/or background from someone. It’ll have a better review.

Forewords: 8/10
I liked the summery you developed in the forewords. It gave me an idea on where you are going with this story. And maybe you could add a little description on the characters mentioned, or main characters.

Plot: 13/15
I liked where you were going with this…so far. I find it a bit boring. The reason being is because there is not a lot going on. Nothing is that exciting, so don’t be afraid to add a few twists here and there.

Originality: 14/20
It’s original to a point. I’ve read similar storylines on different sites and usually they all end the same; they get together and it just stops there as an ending. Try to make it more unexpected if you can.

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 12/15
I found a few minor grammar and vocabulary mistakes, but nothing a good revision can’t handle. Though what irked me about the punctuation was your constant usage of exclamation marks. Most of them were not even needed. Use them for dialogue when someone is yelling or trying to prove a point. Try and work on that.

Detail: 3/5
You have some details, but not enough. Explain to the reader what’s going on; the scenery, actions of the characters during that part, interactions between them or thinking. What do the characters look like? What are they doing as they talk? Try and explain these kinds of details.

Writing Style: 7/10
I thought your writing style was a bit rushed. Though the form was nicely written, it’s just the way you type it out.

Overall Enjoyment: 6/10
It was an okay read. Not one of my favorites, but a nice easy read.

Bonus: 3/5

Total: 73/100

Labels: Eunbyul