Story Title: LOVE EQUILIBRIUM
Story URL: www.winglin.net/fanfic/9naire10_4
Reviewer: S.D.
*This is purely a review for the story "LOVE EQUILIBRIUM" by Naire Perplexity. The reviewer does not have anything against the author. Any 'harsh' comment made by the reviewer is for the sake of the review (If ever there is one). *
Title: 4/5
- Love Equilibrium is an eye-catching title. At first, the equilibrium of love between the two protagonists is not balanced so I wondered why you used this title but as the story progressed, I finally understand why you used such a 'fancy' word in your title. Though I'm glad you used it for your title. J
Poster/Background: 3.9/5
- The poster is gorgeous. The pictures showed the most important setting in the story (I think since they met in a wedding anyway). The only flaw that I saw is Ella's picture. It's a low quality compared to the other two pictures. The colors perfectly blend with each other yet it somehow looked dull. No offense but I was kind of hesitant to read the story because of the dullness of the background. There were also too many quotations on your poster. But really, I was glad that I read your story. I could not imagine missing such a great story like yours. J
Forewords: 8 /10
- I believe that a good foreword should have a bit of the plot in it, and you did a great job. You made me want to read the story more. Yet, you could have introduced your characters more briefly, like highlighting their special trait or quality. But on the whole, I find your forewords pretty captivating.
Plot: 12/15
- Your plot is good but it is a bit cliche. Most of the time, I know what was going to happen next. The sequencing of the story was too fast. Conflicts were evidently shown as the story goes on. Your plot is pretty good, just minimize cliches if ever you are going to write a new story.
Originality: 12/20
- I hope you will understand why I gave you such points here. The themes 'falling in love with your best friend'' and 'unrequited love' are typical themes in stories. You could have made your story more unique (especially that you are a notable writer anyway). But then I did not really mind that your theme was a common one since you made your story completely remarkable. J
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 12/15
-I felt like I was reading a novel ' not just a novel, but an award-winning one. I do not have that much problem in terms of your grammar. There were just some typos and confusions in your story. There were few missing quotations marks too. But I am really glad that you know how to use a semi-colon. A lot of writer use it without even knowing the proper usage. Also, if you are going to use British English spelling, use it all throughout your story. J
Detail: 5/5
-I think you did a great job on leaving details. I don't really have much to say here. J
Writing Style: 9/10
-I love your writing style. You wrote neatly and it was very detailed. Your vocabulary was also extensive to the point that you put too much highfalutin words in it. I have no problem or whatsoever in understanding your story, but I think you are trying to make your story a 'perfect' and fancy one by using highfalutin words. It's not really a problem since a lot of writers, even I, are used to do that - just don't do it often since it's a bad habit. :D
Overall Enjoyment: 9/10
- I really enjoyed reading your story. The only problem I found in your story is that it was cliche. But really, your story was a great one! I'm glad that you chose me to review it. I am a CE fan too! :D
Sub Total: 74.9/100
Bonus: 5/5
- I'm giving you 5 bonus points for waiting for my review. I'm sorry if I was not able to do it earlier. Things just coiled up together in my life. =)) Hahah! *You don't really need to know that xD Anyway, I hope that your story will be a success. I also hope that you'll request more CE fanfic review to me. :D
Total: 79.5/100
Labels: S.D.