Author: th1rd3ye
Story Title: By Your side
Story URL: http://www.winglin.net/fanfic/fts_mh_BYS/
Reviewer: Darkess @ shreddedhearts.blogspot.com

*My reviews are not meant to harm or discourage the author, but to help them fix their stories and do better in the future. The opinions expressed in this review are mine and mine alone, and are not meant to offend you*

Title: 4/5

Perfect for the story, but I don't think it would stick out on the winglin page that much.

Poster/Background: 5/5

Really cute. The colors are calming, and the poster is blended really well.

Forewords: 10/10

Wow. I think your forewords could have been the actual one shot itself ;D It was really good, and it told a whole story in itself.

Plot: 15/15

Even though it was short, there was a lot to your storyline. Everything was very detailed and elaborate, and the pieces of the puzzle fit together perfectly. I like how you started it out where they were together after death, and then back before they both died, and then ended it when they died again. You had many details in this story that really added to the overall effect of it. Great job.

Originality: 13/20

The guardian angel concept... It's everywhere. It's so common now, that every time I see it I sigh and want to click away. But I love how you had Minhwan protect her from a falling pot, and how you had him talk through the windchimes. That was very unique ;D

Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation/Vocabulary: 14/15

loud, as the strong breeze blew into the room, through the open windows. (prologue)

loud as the strong breeze blew into the room through the open windows.

the pedestrian (1)

the pedestrians

gave it (1)

give it

playing catching (1)

playing catch

slid away (1)

slide away

You use a lot of unnecessary commas, but ... you're using them for emphasis, right?

like here

Min Hwan had died, trying to deliver me, my stupid dinner.

the commas aren't necessary, but you're just using them for emphasis, correct?

Detail: 5/5

You put tons of detail into this story, such as the windchimes, the small push from Minhwan to get Eun Jae out of harm's way, the way that she died... and all of your details added so much to the overall story.

Writing Style: 10/10

:) Your writing style is easy to read and comprehend, and I love that you placed so many small details into your story. You were able to grow on the characters in a really short amount of time, and it takes an expert writer to do so.

Overall Enjoyment: 7/10

Bleeeh. The guardian angel concept bored me. But I was glad that I read your story. I liked that he used the phrase "silly girl" a lot. I think it's cute when a guy calls a girl silly. But anyways :D I liked it a lot, and This was a really good story.

Bonus: 5/5

*doesn't understand why my rubric has this section* I hate bonuses o.o theres no point. But anyways, 5 points for ... ... just 5 points >.< geez.

Total: 88/100

Labels: Darkess